Sex by Design from Abby Ludvigson ~~ A New TOS Review!

One of those things, as a parent, that most feel that they will be uncomfortable talking about has to be the topics of sex, modesty, purity, and what the Lord has to say about the subject. I know for me it wasn't a conversation I remember as a "good" one when having 'the talk' with my parents. I do remember the awkwardness and uncertainty of what was expected. I don't remember Scripture being weaved into the topic, instead, it was more of a rule book that said NO, with little feedback and discussion.

But I found that talking about purity with my two girls has been so much easier with Abby Ludvigson's program, Sex by Design, a DVD based program, is comprised of three parts: the video series, a set of print guidebooks for both the parent and student, and online resources that have tons of extras including books, articles, videos, print outs and activities to delve deep into the subject of purity. As crew member I had access to the videos online instead of the DVD's. I also was intrigued when I heard that this program was endorsed by Josh McDowell. I remember him and his books well from my teenage years.

Now let me first say this is not a program that goes through the mechanics of sex or a sex education course. What the curriculum does do is help your teens (and even tweens) to have a Biblical basis for God's design for sex, how it applies to them personally, and how they can walk out their beliefs without being swayed from their end goal of staying on target with what the Word of God reveals to them. This is a curriculum for both boys and girls and their parents to work together as a team and help open the conversation for further discussion. This program can also be repeated at different ages and stages in your child's life.

Each of the video components are about 25 minutes long. I would suggest to pre-view them before watching them with your children, unless you have had some of these discussions previously. Abby's videos are to be a starting point for discussion with your daughters and sons, not a study they do on their own and report back to you. The beginning of each video segment their are real life teens that speak about the upcoming topic that will be discussed. There are 7 topics:

1. Plan Ahead: Living Pure in a Sex-Saturated Culture
2. Counting the Cost: Every Decision has a Price Tag
3. Dating: Doing Relationships God's Way
4. Sex: God's Purpose and Plan
5. Modesty: God Cares What I Wear
6. Pornography: Its Deceptions and Steps to Get Out and Stay Out
7. Secondary Virginity: Running Back to God

As I said my girls are the ones using this study and they are 12 and 14. We have taken the approach of going through the videos and some light discussion on topics (some of which have been slightly more then I anticipated at their young ages). Then we plan on coming back to them and delving more in-depth by reading some of the books suggest in the online resources and working on some of the activities, like a prayer journal for their future spouse. I've gone ahead and pre-viewed the entire course, especially the last two segments, which might have not been something my youngest would have been ready.

The creator of the Sex by Design program, Abby, has a real passion to reach young people to know the true purpose of sexual purity and how God calls us all to live this way. Abby herself remained pure until 2015 when at the age of 35 she met and married her now husband, Greg. This was about a year after this curriculum came to life and was released. Her story is real and helps the points become alive so that others can see you can stay pure if you have the correct tools in place.

The guidebooks are to be used in coordination with the videos. There are fill in the blanks, discussion, and note-taking areas for you to write down as you watch. Then there is a "Follow Up" section to help stir you and your teen to talk about some specifics. The "Personalize It" section is exactly that -- a place for your teen to personalize it to themselves, individually. This includes some steps you can take and do. One of these was the idea of going to the store and purchasing a purity ring. This is something that my husband and I had talked about doing as our children got to this age. My younger daughter has already decided what she wants as her purity ring. My husband and I are thinking this would be a great gift for Christmas as a gift to her of something she wants to help her remind her to stay pure to her commitment to God in these areas. The final section is called "Apply It" where you have the time to put what you are learning into practice - reading journals, articles, and books on the topic; and other activities that put feet to your commitments.

At the end of the guidebooks there is also a Bible study that pulls out a portion of each of the video segments. It allows for your student to study God's Word and let His word infiltrate their hearts so they can come to a Biblical worldview that they can live with because it's their own. I know that we will be using this again with our girls and we do have a much younger son who will benefit from these same videos. When our girls are older, I'm sure that these topics will feel different for them (and for us as parents.)

If you have a pre-teen or teen and want to discuss these topics of purity, modesty, and Godly sexuality, then you will want to invest in Sex by Design, for them and you. You can do that here.  If you would like to learn more about Abby and her ministry you can find her on Facebook. You can also find out more about the program by clicking the link below to hear how others on the Crew used this curriculum.